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Match Report - The F!zz

DATE: FRIDAY 22, MARCH 2024
VENUE: HALSWELL HORNETS RUGBY LEAGUE CLUB
REPORT BY: RYAN ASTLE


On Friday the 10th of March, 1995 the Warriors played their first ever game in the NRL.


10,606 days later (but who’s counting?) they locked in their first ever home game in Christchurch.


To mark this momentous occasion we thought what better way than returning to the Halswell Hornets Rugby League Club (the location for our first ever event Quiz and Some Other Shizz) and getting people more hyped up than The Mad Butcher with a bit of friendly competition.


And thus, The F!zz was born.


BetterMan Co-Founder Todd Astle managed to secure 30 tickets to the Wahs, locked in a bus to the game and we sourced some prizes.


Come game day, we opened the doors at 5pm. The bus would leave at 7pm for an 8 o'clock kick off. It would be two hours of high-intensity and no one was more excited than BetterMan Games Master extraordinaire Ged Robinson who was in his element and had planned some cracking games.



After a brief intro from Todd we got stuck into a pile of tasty pizzas (kindly donated by the good folks at Hell Pizza in Wigram) whilst having a few yarns as all of the Warriors tries from last season played in the background on the big screen. How good was Dallin Watene-Zelezniak?!



We’d pre-organised everyone into teams of four, so straight after food we got right into it. Given the sheer number of questions clarifying the rules for the first game (mainly from Taylor 😂) we knew everyone was up for it and there’d be some great competition.



Throughout the eight games we got through there were a number of match ups and moments worth mentioning. Firstly we had to keep a close eye on the Canterbury Cricket pace quintet who were skirting the legalities of the games and got pulled up by Games Master Ged on a couple of occasions, much to the disgust of Ed. Thankfully he took that energy into the Warriors game later vocally questioning the ref on a few decisions.



George and James nailed the lolly lob game with three in a row, only to be outgunned in the end by Andrew and Rob. No one did well on the fingers on the stick game, but to perfectly honest, I still have absolutely no idea what the aim of the game was.


Undoubtedly, Sink the Ship provided the most tension and excitement with the ultimate showdown boiling down to the steady hands of the surgeon (Dr Raj) versus the shaky but somewhat successful skills of the seasoned pro (Monty). In the end Dr Raj took out the win, along with the player of the day certificate (a month membership to Blitz Fitness).



Team Wiki (Andrew, Rob, Craig and Amos) were the ultimate team winners, scoring themselves a $50 voucher each to Lone Star. Amos started a captain’s speech which was quickly curtailed partly due to time pressure but mainly due to the fact no one wanted to hear it... sorry Amos.



Steve also scored a Blitz Fitness voucher for getting stuck in, and the final award for the guy that gave his all and embodied the spirit of The F!Zz went to Taylor. Thanks for bringing the noise, mate.



We then hosted the world’s fastest auction with just one item under the hammer - a Warriors top signed by this year’s squad which they had kindly donated to us. We had a reserve price in mind, if we didn’t get that amount we’d try again at our next event. Thankfully Todd did a remarkable job playing auctioneer and managed to ignite a bidding war between Monty and KJ. In the end KJ took it out and we’ll be stoked to donate the money raised to LeVa - a charity that the Warriors are closely aligned with.




It was then on to the bus where a few chants started. I have to say I peaked way too early trying to get a rendition of the Darts tune with Oi, Oi, Oi replaced by Wahs, Wahs, Wahs going. I pretty much had the Darren Lockyer gravel voice for the rest of the night.



Monty was the ringleader of the chants, and had not only the bus going but a large section of the crowd near us. He even managed to sneak in a "Oh when the ship comes sailing in" chant for Shippo, much to his embarrassment.



I have to say it was amazing to see how many people were kitted in Warriors merch. It was a sea of blue, green and red and there was some great energy.


In terms of the game itself, after taking an early lead, the Raiders pegged us back and went into the lead in the second half.


It was at that point that Craig asked me if I’d be writing a match report for this event, suggesting I could include the fact that if we lose we shouldn’t panic as the last time we made the final in 2011 we’d lost three on the bounce. Thankfully Rocco Berry and DWZ were immense for the Wahs, the latter setting up Luke Metcalf for a try before RTS sealed the deal with a barnstorming run from fullback.


All in all a great night with some good competition, connection and camaraderie with the BetterMan crew bringing the noise to help the Warriors get the win.


A huge thanks to Halswell Rugby League Club for playing host, Hells for donating the pizzas, Lone Star for the winning vouchers (and Andrew McGill for sourcing them for us), Blitz Fitness for prize vouchers, and The Warriors for donating the signed shirt.


And finally a bit of slow mo action of one of our games:



See ya next time.


Cheers,

The BetterMan Crew

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