REF Toolkit | BetterMan

The REF Toolkit

developed by

IN partnership with

Supported by

Positive psychology & wellbeing workshops for schools and sports clubs

Developed by BetterMan and the Wellbeing Works, the REF Toolkit is an interactive workshop that packs in science-backed positive psychology principles and tools for wellbeing.

Our 60-minute presentations are highly engaging and get participants up and moving with a series of games and challenges, all whilst they are learning ways to build resilience and make positive changes.

What is the ref toolkit?

When young people learn how to strengthen Relationships, manage Emotions, and have a more Flexible mindset it helps them to become better versions of themselves - at school and in life. Plus, the positive impact doesn’t stop with them. It ripples outward – to their whānau, school, and communities.

relationships

emotional agility

Flexible Mindset

Relationships

Strong social ties are the single biggest predictor of happiness and success, not just at school, but across life.

During adolescence, the brain is especially sensitive to peer influence and social pressures.

When we connect with others – even in small ways – our brains release oxytocin. This feel-good hormone lowers anxiety, improves concentration and focus, and even boosts the immune system. The more connections we make over time, the better we function.

Emotion Shifters

Teenage brains are wired to feel everything more deeply – meaning higher highs, and lower lows. That’s normal. But without the right tools, those emotions can take over.

Learning to recognise, name, and shift emotions gives young people more control.

These tools don’t erase difficult feelings – and that’s not the goal. They give students the tools to navigate them without getting stuck or overwhelmed.

At any age, if we can manage our emotions (so they don’t manage us!) we are better at focusing, handling stress, playing sport, sleeping well, maintaining energy throughout the day, bouncing back from setbacks, and simply enjoying life more.

Flexible Mindset

Our brains are naturally wired to spot problems – not possibilities. This is called the negativity bias, and while it once helped us survive (by scanning for threats), today it often shows up as harsh self-talk and automatic negative thoughts (ANTs).

For students, this might sound like:

“Why is this so hard? I must be dumb.”

“Everyone else gets it. I’m the only one struggling.”

“I messed up – I’ll probably fail.”

These kinds of thoughts can spiral fast – making kids feel stuck, anxious, or unmotivated. It can really help to remember:

Thoughts are just thoughts. Not facts.

And students can learn to change how they speak to themselves.

That’s one of the tools for developing a more flexible mindset – being able to challenge unhelpful thoughts and shift into a more encouraging, problem-solving mode.

the ref toolkit on 1news

Watch Jordan Oppert's piece on 1News about BetterMan delivering the REF Toolkit at Shirley Boys' High School alongside Scott Barrett, David Havili and Taylor Cahill from the Crusaders.

facilitators

Todd Astle

BetterMan Co-Founder

After 18 years as a professional cricket player for Canterbury and the Black Caps, Todd understands the challenges of transitioning to a new beginning. With a degree in Sport & Rec Management, and as a mental skills coach and co-founder of BetterMan, Todd uses his knowledge and expertise to teach people the tools they need to succeed in any field.

Hear from Todd

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ged robinson

BetterMan Co-Founder

After retiring from rugby, Ged set up a pizza business (delicious but ultimately unfulfilling), then discovered his purpose, gaining a Diploma in Positive Psychology and co-founding BetterMan. He applies his skills and experience learnt as a former player for the Hurricanes, Rebels, Highlanders and Crusaders to help others on their journey to being better versions of themselves.

Hear from Ged

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kim tay

The Wellbeing Works Founder

Since discovering Positive Psychology over 15 years ago Kim has been on a mission to empower individuals and organisations to thrive using the science of flourishing. Founder of The Wellbeing Works, with a BA Psyc and Dip in Pos Psyc she has run hundreds of engaging workshops for a diverse range of clients, from schools to unions to global multinationals.

Hear from Kim

Testimonials

the crusaders
championing our cause

The REF Toolkit workshop, developed by BetterMan and The Wellbeing Works, is a game-changer for any corporate or high performance environment. Their interactive, science-backed approach to wellbeing goes far beyond traditional presentations—engaging participants with practical tools, games, and fun challenges that foster real learning and connection. Our players and management left the session energised, inspired, and equipped with actionable strategies to strengthen relationships, manage emotions, and develop a more flexible, resilient mindset, all contributors to our on and off field success in 2025.

The benefits were immediate, we saw improved communication within our team, with our stakeholders and the community, greater empathy, and a renewed sense of belonging within our team. The focus on building strong social ties and emotional intelligence is especially valuable for us, as these foundations had previously been laid, but with the help of the REF workshop we have been able to reignite and modern our thinking in this space. Ged and Todd empowered our people to recognise and shift unhelpful thought patterns, and helped us create a more positive, solution-focused culture.

I highly recommend the REF Toolkit to any organisation looking to boost team wellbeing, performance, and engagement. The passion and expertise of the facilitators made the experience both enjoyable and impactful—truly a standout in corporate development for individuals and teams.

As an organisation we champion the concept of growth mindset, however Ged and Todd were able to present this in a way that our people strongly connected with – through their skill set, knowledge and the fact they are excellent presenters.

If you wish for any further information please do not hesitate to contact me.

Aaron Webb

Crusaders Team Manager