The REF Toolkit
developed by
IN partnership with
Supported by
Positive psychology & wellbeing workshops for schools and sports clubs
Developed by BetterMan and the Wellbeing Works, the REF Toolkit is an interactive workshop that packs in science-backed positive psychology principles and tools for wellbeing.
Our 60-minute presentations are highly engaging and get participants up and moving with a series of games and challenges, all whilst they are learning ways to build resilience and make positive changes.
What is the ref toolkit?
When young people learn how to strengthen Relationships, manage Emotions, and have a more Flexible mindset it helps them to become better versions of themselves - at school and in life. Plus, the positive impact doesn’t stop with them. It ripples outward – to their whānau, school, and communities.
relationships
emotional agility
Flexible Mindset
Relationships
Strong social ties are the single biggest predictor of happiness and success, not just at school, but across life.
During adolescence, the brain is especially sensitive to peer influence and social pressures.
When we connect with others – even in small ways – our brains release oxytocin. This feel-good hormone lowers anxiety, improves concentration and focus, and even boosts the immune system. The more connections we make over time, the better we function.
Emotion Shifters
Teenage brains are wired to feel everything more deeply – meaning higher highs, and lower lows. That’s normal. But without the right tools, those emotions can take over.
Learning to recognise, name, and shift emotions gives young people more control.
These tools don’t erase difficult feelings – and that’s not the goal. They give students the tools to navigate them without getting stuck or overwhelmed.
At any age, if we can manage our emotions (so they don’t manage us!) we are better at focusing, handling stress, playing sport, sleeping well, maintaining energy throughout the day, bouncing back from setbacks, and simply enjoying life more.
Flexible Mindset
Our brains are naturally wired to spot problems – not possibilities. This is called the negativity bias, and while it once helped us survive (by scanning for threats), today it often shows up as harsh self-talk and automatic negative thoughts (ANTs).
For students, this might sound like:
“Why is this so hard? I must be dumb.”
“Everyone else gets it. I’m the only one struggling.”
“I messed up – I’ll probably fail.”
These kinds of thoughts can spiral fast – making kids feel stuck, anxious, or unmotivated. It can really help to remember:
Thoughts are just thoughts. Not facts.
And students can learn to change how they speak to themselves.
That’s one of the tools for developing a more flexible mindset – being able to challenge unhelpful thoughts and shift into a more encouraging, problem-solving mode.
facilitators
A ringing endorsement
from mairehau high school
I am writing to express my sincere appreciation and provide a strong recommendation for The Wellbeing Works/BetterMan, who recently delivered a presentation to a group of our ngā ākonga, students at Mairehau High School.
The presentation was truly a highlight of the week for our ngā ākonga and created a positive ‘buzz’ amongst our school community — The session was fun, engaging, and highly relevant. In my 14+ years teaching, seeing many organisation deliver content to our kura, school, this was a standout and
easily the best presentation I have been involved with. Ged and Todd demonstrated excellent communication skills and an ability to connect meaningfully with all of our ngā ākonga. Their energy, authenticity, and passion was clearly evident throughout. Our students left the presentation feeling both inspired, informed and they had a greater sense of how to strive to be better.
At Mairehau High School, we would be delighted to have The Wellbeing Works/BetterMan, back in the future and highly recommend them to other schools or organisations. It is my hope that Ged and Todd continue their kaupapa, giving back to the community and helping us strive to be better.
Naaku noa, naa
Sean Lee
Teacher of Health, Outdoor and Physical Education
Kaiako o whanaungatanga
Mairehau High School
get in touch
Keen to have BetterMan present at your school or sports club?
Let’s talk!
Email: team@betterman.org.nz
Call Ged on: 021 068 0345
